Doctor Josh: The story of how my husband cured Matt's heart attack / stroke

I dearly, dearly love my brother-in-law, Matt. This is one of my favorite stories about him:

Matt lived with us for a couple of months when we lived in Montana. One night, Josh and I were already asleep when Matt frantically knocked on our door, whisper-shouting, "Guys! Wake up!"

Waking out of a semi-deep sleep, I immediately thought the house was on fire or something (why else would he wake us up in the middle of the night?). I jumped out of bed, jerked open the door, and found Matt bent over, his one arm dangling limply at his side.

"I can't move my left arm and it feels really tingly." (I don't remember his exact words, but it was something like this.) I think he also mentioned something about his heart not feeling right.

I very helpfully asked, "What's wrong with it?"

He didn't know, but was afraid something was wrong with his heart or something. I kept asking him what he wanted us to do, if he needed to go to the doctor, or if we needed to call an ambulance.

I was so panicked, my legs were shaking and I felt sick, so I went and sat down on the edge of the bed while Josh finally got up to go see if he could help Matt. Matt repeated what was wrong. Josh looked at him for a moment.

"Is your arm asleep?" he asked.

Matt was quiet for several long seconds. Then, "Yeah, I think that's what it is."

Itchy Feet, Part Two: The Dark Side

I love going to new places. I really do. But there are downsides to moving every few years. Obviously there are always the inconveniences of moving - finding a new place, finding a new job, switching all of your information, closing accounts, opening accounts, etc. But there are some deeper issues as well:

1. Financial - Moving costs a lot. Especially the moves we make, which tend to be across the country.

2. Friends - I am constantly having to make new ones. And I don't make friends easily. It takes me a while to even feel comfortable enough with people just to hang out with them. It takes even longer to find anyone that I truly love as a friend. Since high school ten years ago, I've had two. And I left both of them around a year after we really started being good friends.

3. Jobs - While sometimes we move somewhere in order to get new jobs, I feel like I am always starting at the bottom, again. You can't build up a strong record at your job when you keep leaving it after just a few years.

4. Church - I hate looking for a church. You have to go and meet new people, all who really try to be friendly and open, and who should. But refer to my number 2. Also, finding a church where you can really feel comfortable gets harder and harder the more Bible and theology classes  your husband has had.

5. Starting Over - This kind of applies to all areas. While it can be a good thing in some ways, it is also really hard. You have to prove yourself over and over again. You have to show people who you are. You have to be vulnerable with  new acquaintances. It's a hard position to be in so frequently.

So there you have it. Before you decide to start hopping around the country, take a minute to decide if it is really worth it.

Sleepwalkers

I have lived with four different people who sleepwalked. All of my siblings sleepwalked, and my husband did once, a long time ago.

My sister, Gina, was the first one. She was about nine when she had her adventure. She walked into my parents' bedroom, started tossing books around and declared that she was going to build a computer before turning around and going back to bed.

My brother, Jordan, was next. He walked right up to my bed, said something about dogs barking, and turned around. I didn't quite hear what he said, so I called him. He turned around and walked back to my bed. He repeated his line about the dogs then went back to his room. I think he attempted to sleepwalk several other times, but Jordan slept on the top bunk and most of his attempts at sleepwalking just ended with him falling out of bed. Several times we were all woken up by a yell, then a sort of splat as he hit the tile floor. Then moaning.

My little brother, Ben, sleepwalked a LOT. Most of it he did after I had left home, but I saw him a couple of times when I went home right before my wedding. He would come downstairs and sit down with us, even talk. Jordan would yell at him to go back to bed, and he would stand up and go back. The first time I told Jordan to quit yelling at Ben, but Jordan told me he was fast asleep, and the next morning Ben didn't remember any of it.

Josh has only sleepwalked once, although he talks a lot in his sleep and sometimes sits up. The time he sleepwalked, we'd been dating for just a few months and I went with him to Montana. It was around midnight, and he opened the door to the room where I was sleeping, walked in and said something about getting away from someone, then turned around and left.

After all of these experiences, all I can say about sleepwalking is that it is creepy. It's almost like someone you don't know has taken over your sibling/husband's body and you are not quite sure what they are going to do. At least none of them peed in a closet.

Home Fixin's

There are a couple of things that always make any place feel more like home to me:

1. Plants.
















2. Curtains.

3. Rugs















4. Lamps

Stick Shift

So today I was leaving for work and decided to tell Josh that he may want to give himself a few extra minutes since there was frost on the windows of the vehicles. He asked me to start his truck for him. His truck has been having trouble starting, so when I turned the key and nothing happened, I just figured it was something wrong with the truck.

I texted school that I'd be a few minutes late, then told Josh he needed to hurry up so that we could ride together. About fifteen minutes later, as I was explaining to him what the truck had done, he asked if I had started it right.

I hadn't. I don't drive stick, and as a result, did not realize that I had to have the clutch pushed in when I was starting the truck. So, yeah... truck is fine.

Oranges

I love oranges. I have so many memories that have to do with oranges. Also, I'm really, really tired right now, so this will be a bit rambly.

We always used to eat a ton of oranges during the winter when I was little. So now, winter means that we should eat oranges. Whenever I eat one, I think of my mom, peeling them for us as we sat around doing whatever we did.

Also, I remember doing so many different things with oranges. Eating them (obviously). We also used to put the peels in a pan of water along with spices and set it on top of the heater so that yummy orangey smell filled the house. We used to put cloves in them so that they wouldn't go bad and would smell good. We made candy out of the peels one year. I also remember grating the peels off of oranges (I think that's called zesting???) but I don't remember what we used it for. I do remember cranberry sauce with orange peel bits in it. Yum.

Anyhow, all of that to say, I really like oranges. Oh yeah, we used to make "fireworks" with the peels. If you squeeze the peels to make the juice fly out next to a candle, all of the little squirts will catch on fire and "sparkle." Try it.

Christmas Wreck

It was ten years ago this Christmas that I was in a wreck with my cousin, just two days before Christmas day.

We were leaving church. It was pretty cold, rainy. A bunch of us decided to go get a bite to eat. I decided to ride with my cousin in his old Ford pick-up. He raced a friend out of the parking lot, and when we got onto the road, they were still vying for first place. My cousin mentioned that there were two ways we could get to the restaurant, and said, "Pick a or b."

I picked b, and he veered off onto a back road through the woods. He told me to put on my seatbelt (which I had already done because I am a law-abiding citizen, thank you very much) because we'd be going fast. I'm not sure how fast we were going, but I'm sure it was well over the speed limit, when we hit a long curve in the road.

The truck very gently began sliding towards the outside of the curve. My cousin slowed down, and it seemed like the truck was back on track when it began to fishtail back and forth across the road. On one side of the road was a lake or pond, and the other side, a small hill covered with trees.

Suddenly we were hurtling straight towards a huge tree. We were in a truck with no airbags, and the tree was just yards ahead of us, and we were still moving pretty quickly. I just knew it would be very, VERY bad if we hit the tree head on.

At the last minute, the truck swerved a couple feet aside, missing the tree and heading down the hill. I was so glad we had missed the tree that relief was the most overwhelming feeling I had as we began to roll end over end down the hill.

Tumbling down the hill was really surreal. All of these baby trees seemed to rush towards us, and I could hear them slapping against the truck. Then we were flipping over and so much dust filled the truck that I had to close my eyes.

When we stopped, the truck was lying on the driver's side, facing the opposite direction we'd been coming. My cousin asked if I was okay and I said, "I've got dust in my eyes." It took me a few moments to remember to ask him if he was okay.

Once I had rubbed away the dust and opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was smoke coming from under the hood. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough to make me feel a bit panicked. I pushed on the door, but it was so heavy, and I was hanging from the seatbelt, and I couldn't open it. I looked down at my cousin and told him I couldn't get the door open. I turned back to try again and still couldn't get it.

When I looked back down, my cousin was gone. Later he said that he couldn't remember getting out of the truck, but there he was, standing outside of the truck (the back window had popped out). My seatbelt wouldn't unclick with me hanging in it, so he lifted me up enough to get the weight off of it, and helped me down.

Neither of us had cell phones, so we had to climb up the hill and walk a ways to get to a house where we could call someone.

When friends and family showed up, they said that they had just been about to come looking for us since we had never made it to the restaurant. If something had happened to us, though, they would have had a hard time finding us that night because you couldn't see the truck from the road. The truck was totaled.

It was all pretty crazy. And one of the craziest things was that the worst injury I got from it was months later when I put on the gloves I had been wearing that night and cut myself on a piece of glass that was down in one of the fingers.

Underwater River

Here is a crazy picture of an underwater river:

That little shiny thing on the left side of the picture is a diver. Isn't that one of the craziest things ever....?!?!?!

For more cool underwater pictures: http://www.tecdive.ru/en/post/show/38

Itchy Feet

Josh and I move a lot compared to most people. Most of the time, we agree about the timetable for moving. One day we both look at each other and just know, it's time to start thinking about moving on. In fact, we have become so used to moving, that the thought of staying anywhere "forever" gives both of us a panicky feeling. It surprises people, how often we move. They have a hard time understanding WHY we move so much. So here are some of the reasons:

-Opportunity:  We see better opportunities somewhere else, so we go there.
-Necessity: We can only do what we want to somewhere else, so we go there.
-Because we want to: Sometimes we just want to go live in a certain place. We want to experience a certain lifestyle or we want to live close to family, so we go for a little while.
-Because we are ready for the next thing: This is kind of like the opportunity, but sometimes even when we have great opportunities where we are, we are just ready for the next thing in life.
-We go where life takes us: Sometimes, it just feels right to move. Josh says, "The earth is moving. We're just trying to keep up."

I'll take one with everything.

On Saturday, Josh and I went off in search of a thrift store. All I can say about that is I REALLY miss all of the DAVs in Springfield.

As we were driving home, we saw a big billboard advertising tacos at Fuel City. Josh said that they were supposed to be amazing, so we found the place and ordered one of each kind.

"With everything?" asked the young man taking our order. We said yes, of course.

Outside of the gas station was a food cart selling cups of corn. We got one, also with every topping available, because that's the only way to experience things - with everything. 

Texas

Well, once again, it has been a while, but life has been a bit crazy.

With Josh finishing up school (or at least getting close to it) in May, we decided it was time for a move (of course). We looked into a lot of different options. We came really close to moving to Richmond, VA to be youth pastors, but that did not work out.

August rolled around, and we had no prospects, and it looked like we might be staying in Springfield. Then, I got a call for a couple of interviews at schools down in Texas. We took a quick weekend trip, crashed with a friend, and I interviewed. We went back to Springfield, and nothing came of the interviews.

Then, the next Friday, I get an phone call for an interview on Monday, with the job starting on Tuesday. We drove back down to Texas, me with a suitcase of clothes just in case.

I interviewed for and got the job on Monday, started on Tuesday, and started teaching 8th grade ELA the next Monday. Josh rushed back to Springfield and packed our house into storage and came back down here.

We stayed with a friend for over a month (that was crazy with the pets), then moved into our new place at the beginning of October. We still don't have our stuff, so right now our house contains a couch, a mattress, and just enough kitchen supplies that we can make food and eat it.

Things are okay. I must say that it has all been a bit overwhelming and quite stressful. I guess the upside of that is that, even without doing my running plan (due to the fact that I didn't pack my tennis shoes and Josh didn't bring them with him), I have lost enough weight that all of my pants now fall off without me having to unzip them. (Since we don't have a scale, I don't know how much weight I've actually lost.)

We are excited about this opportunity, but would appreciate your thoughts, prayers, and encouragement. I miss my friends from Springfield terribly, and I'm just having a bit of a rough time with the move (as I usually do.)

Well, that will be all for now. Sorry it's been so long.

Week 2, day2

I felt completely unmotivated to go running today. My right knee was still aching a bit and I just didn't feel like going. But I did, and it was great. I even took Luna for the first bit like I have been doing, and she did good as well.

I felt really good running today. I was not getting tired, even at the end of my time. The only problem was my knees. Now they are KILLING me. I feel like my endurance is getting better and better, but my appendages are just not used to the pounding yet. And I need better shoes.

All in all, though. I feel really good about the run and my progress.

digital hoarding

I've been watching "Hoarders" again (sorry, but there's 40-some episodes on Netflix), and I've had a brilliant idea. It wouldn't help all forms of hoarders, but it would help the ones (maybe) who hold onto things because they don't want to lose the memories. ("If I don't have this, I'll forget this great memory.")

What if there was a company that would come in and convert all or most of your hoard into a digital format? For example, it would scan letters or documents, take pictures of items, and create notes for each thing. Then you could get rid of the actual stuff and just have a large digital hoard. It would be much more practical.

I like this idea. I may even try it with some of my own stuff, like letters and drawings from high school.

sleep-deprived musings

So, this morning between 4:00 and 4:30, my neighbors woke me up with their arguing. All I could think was, “Why? Why right now?”  I’ve thought about it and I guess here are some reasons why people would need to argue that early in the morning:

-         The house is rapidly flooding and you are arguing about whether to rescue pets or just leave them there and save yourself.

-         One person decides to move to Arizona, right then.

-         A wormhole opens up in the living room and you argue about whether to go through or not.

-         There was one spider on the bed and you are arguing about whether or not the sheets need to be changed/washed.

-         The zombie apocalypse happens, and you fight about whether to hide out in the basement or head for the hills.

-         A random goat wanders into the house, and you argue about whether or not you should keep it.

I just really don’t know why else you would get up at 4:30 a.m. and yell at each other…

Speaking of rescuing pets: After the neighbors quieted down, I was, in my sleep deprived state, wondering, “What if one of them murdered the other?” That led to thoughts of how they would cover it up, which led me to conclude that they might light the house on fire. Knowing that it would probably spread to my house, I concocted a plan to save Tink and Luna, then started worrying about my fish. I thought it would be especially cruel to let him boil to death, but I couldn’t imagine carrying him out of the house while trying to wrangle both Tink and Luna. I decided to put him in the fridge if a fire happened, hoping that it would save him and not freeze him to death.

I didn’t get much sleep last night.

Week 1, Day 1

Just finished Week 1, Day 1 of “Couch to 5k.” It’s a nine week program that will work you up to running a 5k in nine weeks. Today was my day one.

I took Luna with me for the first bit. Brisk five minute walk then alternated 60 seconds of jogging to 90 seconds of walking. Luna actually did really well with it, which is surprising because she is a horrible walker. Of course, having her along meant we had to stop and chat with people about what kind of dog she is, how old she is, how much she weighs, etc. etc.

About ten minutes in I realized that Luna is also quite out of shape, and not wanting her to overheat in the Missouri warmth, I took her home then finished the rest of my 20 minutes.

Now I’m sitting her totally sweating, but feeling quite good. 

 

http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml

The Giant Leprechaun

Durby was a giant,

As tall as he could be.

He should have been quite short because

A leprechaun was he.

All other leprechauns his age

Laughed at him and sneered.

“You’re huge!” they shouted towards his head.

“You’re hairy and you’re weird!”

Until one day the gnomes attacked

And stole the pot of gold.

The leprechauns were all upset-

The young ones and the old.

Except the mighty Durby,

Who took up a magic horn

And waded deep into the woods.

“I’ll rescue the gold,” he’d sworn.

After eighty days and nights,

He came upon the gnomes.

He tooted on the magic horn,

And the gnomes turned into stones.

Durby found the pot of gold

And returned it to its home.

Now he is greatly loved and named,

Durby the Bane of Gnomes.

Hoarding

Josh and I have been watching “Hoarders” on Netflix, and it’s scary. Not the show… well, it’s scary too. But, no, it’s scary because I can see some of the hoarding thought patterns in myself.

What really worries me are the following ways of thinking that I have:

-         I shouldn’t get rid of something that someone has given me because that would be an insult to them, or it means that I don’t care about them.

-         I shouldn’t get rid of something if I might need to use it at some later time. Or even something that I can find a use for (like using old t-shirts for rags).

-         I shouldn’t get rid of anything that could be used by someone else (I find it nearly impossible to throw away clothes. I will donate them, but I don’t throw them away.)

-         I shouldn’t get rid of something that could be valuable. (The older something is, the harder it is for me to just get rid of it.)

-         I shouldn’t get rid of anything that has any meaning to me (which is a lot of stuff because I’m quite sentimental).

-         I shouldn’t get rid of stuff I have spent money on, even if I’m not using it. (I buy craft supplies all the time and only end up using a few of them.)

I have cards that people gave me that are over ten years old. I have a bunch of old letters from high school. I even have my planners from my junior and senior years of high school. I have my prom dress. I have sets of nice plates that are out in my garage.

I guess some of that may be normal. I mean, that’s why people have attics, right? Somewhere you can put stuff that you don’t use but that forty years from now the grandkids will discover and think it’s amazing.

There are a few things which I think have saved me from becoming overly hoard-y. One, we don’t have a lot of money, so I don’t have the opportunity to buy a lot of stuff.

Two, we move so frequently and I hate packing so much that when we move I end up getting rid of a lot of stuff just so I don’t have to pack it.

Three, I’m not a compulsive shopper. If I am happy with the way a room looks, I don’t buy anything for it. I haven’t bought a decoration for our living room in two months, and before that it was over a year.  I got a little nightlight for our bathroom a few weeks ago, but other than that, it’s been a year since I bought anything for the house.

Four, Josh keeps me from getting too crazy (in more areas than just this one.)

Five, when I see things getting out of hand, I can take action. Which probably means that I am not a real hoarder. Which, quite frankly, is a relief. 

geek freak out

"SPOILERS!"

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT RIVER SONG IS MELODY POND - AMY AND RORY'S DAUGHTER!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Melody Williams... is a geography teacher. Melody Pond is a super hero."

My dilemma

I REALLY want this puppy. She's a 6-month old Saint Bernard mix at the humane society.

Pros: Cons: BUT -a new puppy!! -a friend for Luna. -saving a little dog from abandonment. -she’s adorable and not too expensive - we don’t know where we are moving to - we would have another LARGE, shedding, drooling dog. -I don’t know how Luna would react, and Tink would definitely not be happy. - Large dogs are expensive. -we already have Luna, so we will have to find a place that takes large dogs anyway -we are already used to Luna’s drool, so another dog’s drool wouldn’t be so bad - Luna needs to learn to be nice, plus this dog may turn out to be bigger than Luna; that would be good for her. And Tink would get over it; he always does. -yeah, no buts, they eat a LOT I don’t know what to do!!

Memorial Day

 

We woke up to go hiking at 7:30. Josh decided not to go because his knees/legs were bugging him after all of the crazy dancing we did at a wedding the night before.

  

I cleaned most of my house while waiting for my hiking buddies to get here. 

The three of us went to Fellows Lake and started off on the 2.5-mile trail. We got just a couple hundred yards in and realized that we were covered with ticks. There were big ones and little baby ones. They were on my shoes, and crawling down into my socks, and scuttling up my legs. We decided to abort the hike and return another day when we had bug spray.

 

 Josh and I went to the Springfield Cardinals ball game. It was great!

They hit a home run in the 6^th inning, so we could go to Andy’s and get $1.00 sundaes.

 

After that we crashed a picnic. That was quite fun. We flew kites and played dominoes and bocce ball. We won!!

 

After the picnic, we went and bought some food for our own cookout and went home and ate dinner while we watched a program about aliens. (I believe!)

Josh and I were burnt to a crisp, so we smeared Noxema all over us.

After Noxema-ating, Josh read while I filled out job applications in Minnesota. Not sure how I feel about that, but I think Gina will be happy.

All in all a great day.

from this side

The other day Josh and I were talking about how it would be fun to open a coffee shop and use it for ministry, maybe near a college campus. Josh, referring to my time working at Starbucks, said, “Who knows where our past and present experiences are leading us…”

Sometimes in my life it has felt as though I have no control over what is going on. I take a job because it is the only one available, or we move somewhere because nothing else seems feasible.

Many times, when we set out to some new place, I have a lot of questions. Always about what the future holds, but sometimes even about whether we are making the right decisions. Inevitably, things work out. Josh and I always have our reasons for doing things, but every time we look back at our lives, we see that there was a bigger purpose there, a bigger story being told than the one we had planned or could even see.

It reminds me a little of being on hold on a phone call. I put a lot of people on hold, and I realize that they don’t know what is going on while they are on hold. They don’t hear the five phone calls I make to try to get them an answer, or me going to check the fax machine for their fax, or even me going to talk to a supervisor to try to resolve the issue. All they hear is the hold music.

Life is like that. Many times we don’t realize what is happening behind the hold music, even if it is happening inside of us, until it’s all done. But I believe, because I have seen, that God is working, even when I don’t see it from this side. 

May 21, 2011

Josh and I slept in.

Mom left us a message on the machine saying that Ben had made it safely to Minnesota with the bluegrass band he was hitching a ride with.

Josh and I went mini-golfing. I won!! I laughed at Josh a lot, mostly because he is better than me at almost every game we ever play. On a par 50 course, I got a 65 and Josh got a 73. We are not great golfers to say the least.

After golf we went to the taco wagon. It was, as always, AMAZING!! If you live in Springfield and have not been there, go now.

We decided to go to ABC Bookstore since we were on that side of town. Josh got Grace in Galatia: A Commentary on Paul’s Letter to the Galations by Ben Witherington III, The Letters of John: A TNTC Commentary by John R.W. Stott, and Biblical Criticism: Historical, Literary and Textual by Harrison, Waltke, Guthrie, and Fee. I got The Wind Singer by William Nicholson and Unwind by Neal Shusterman.

We hung out for a bit at the thrift store.

We came home and had dinner.

We’re going to go for some ice-cream later tonight.

It’s been a really nice day. 

 

Moving

So, I started this blog to talk about travels and moving, and we haven’t really done any of that since I started (other than my trip to PA). But, we are in the process of looking for a place to move to, so I guess I will talk about that.

Before this move, Josh and I have always just moved wherever we felt like and figured it out after we got there. We have never had jobs or places to live lined up before we pulled into town with everything we owned. That always worked pretty well for us up until this last move.

Springfield has been a bit difficult. We found a perfect house to live in, we’ve made great friends, but the job situation has been less than stellar. I figured it up the other day, and out of the 22 months we have been here so far, I’ve worked full-time for 11 of them. During one stretch of non-working I told Josh that I’m done moving without jobs. Ergo, this move has been less about what seems like the most exciting place we can go and more about job applications, which I hate.

So far Josh has been the one doing most of the applying. We figure that his job field is a lot smaller than mine, so he is going to try to get a job first, then I will try to get one in the same area. At first whenever Josh would find a job that interested him, I would immediately start looking for jobs in the area. I soon quit when I realized that most jobs I would be trying to get would require me to get certified in that state before even applying. I really don’t want to get any more certifications unless there’s a good chance that we will be moving.

The good part about this move is that we could end up anywhere. Really, anywhere. That is pretty exciting.

The bad part is that we don’t know where yet. I hate not knowing things. I like to have a plan, or at least an idea of what is coming next and at this point, it’s just a big blank.

I don’t know how other people do moves. I haven’t known many who have moved as much as me and Josh, and I don’t think I’ve known any who have moved as many times as we have with literally no idea how they were going to make it once they got there. It just all seems pretty stressful to me.

Maybe after a few more times, we’ll get the hang of it. 

___________ would have been so much better if:

Dr. Who “Day of the Moon”:  we understood why the Silents were so bad.

The Happening:  the creepy old lady was controlling the plants.

Last season of Project Runway:  Mondo had won.

City of Fallen Angels:   Jace’s rune had made Clary go along to the crazy with him instead of just knocking her out.

Firefly:  it had been longer than 14 episodes and a movie.

Hello Again!

Well, folks, it has been a while.

Here are just a few things I've been up to:

Full-time job: Yes, I finally got a permanent one. What can I say? It seems money is necessary for living.

Out-patient surgery: It went fine. The coolest part was the post-op appointment where I got to see pictures of my insides... pretty nifty.

Trip to PA: It was GREAT to see my brother, sister-in-law, and two little nephews. Also, I got to see my grandmas and all of my aunts and uncles, except one. I did not, however, see any of my cousins, which was sad.

First trip to the dentist in 11 years: NO CAVITIES!!!

Job applications: Josh and I are looking to move yet again. I've been spending pretty much every free minute looking for jobs for him to apply to, plus filling out a few applications myself. 

Cleaning house: Luna is shedding and tracking in mud... every single day. Speaking of pets, Tink has had a couple of feral episodes lately. During one, he was running across the back of the couch, and landed on Josh's head. He gashed his scalp open pretty badly.

Ben's graduation: Yay for Ben! Yay for my parents, who managed to get all four of us through high school.

So, that has been my life lately. I'll be trying to write a bit more frequently from now on, but you know how life goes...

Worry

As I have mentioned before, I love Flannery O’Connor. I was reading some stuff of hers today and came across a quote that I had not seen before:

“When a book leaves your hands, it belongs to God. He may use it to save a few souls or to try a few others, but I think that for the writer to worry is to take over God's business.”

I am a natural worrier. Josh says that I come up with things to worry about, which is probably true. I think that sometimes if there isn’t anything to worry about, I worry about that. I have been trying to be better about it, but I’m not very good at that.

Josh always points out that worrying doesn’t help anything. My reply to him is usually that worrying is a reaction, not an action. It’s an effect, not a cause. But that’s not strictly true, because my worrying tends to create some stressful situations between Josh and myself.

But, as the quote says, when I worry, for whatever reason, I am taking over God's business. And that's not okay. In fact, it's downright rude. It's saying that I don't trust God to handle it. It's saying that I think I can do a better job of taking care of the situation, and that is just ignorant.

So, basically, worrying turns me into a rude, ignorant busybody. Epic Worry Fail.

Happy Birthday, Luna!

Luna’s birthday is somewhere around this time (I don't remember exactly when), and I wanted to take a moment and talk about all that she has done this past year:

-Luna got out of the back yard. It is the only time she has ever done it, and it wouldn’t have been overly significant except that she got out on a marathon day. Every marathon in Springfield routes past our house. On that day, marathoners were met with an overexcited, 95-pound dog, running out to greet them.

-Luna got arrested. This is what happens when you jump up on marathoners. The cops just happened to be in the neighborhood on a domestic disturbance call, and I guess they heard people shrieking in terror down the street. When we discovered Luna was gone and got in the car to go look for her, we found her sitting nicely with two cops who had just tied a rope to her collar.

-Luna got fleas. This was the first time she’s ever had a problem, and boy did she have a problem. They took over our lives for a while.

-Luna had a bath. Lots of baths actually. Because of the fleas. She got more baths over this past summer than she has during the rest of her life put together.

-Luna got allergies. This is another first for her. She has never had trouble before. Now, she digs up her face, really badly. It's rather sad.

-Luna started taking steroids. See above entry for explanation.

-Luna discovered that cats also fit into the “I love jumping on small animals” category.

-Luna got robbed. A lot. By a small dog who snuck under the fence to steal Luna’s bones.

-Luna discovered that she LOVES mud, and running in it, and making pretty paw prints on the kitchen floor with it.

There’s so much more, but I shall stop and just say: Happy Birthday, Luna!

Sometimes I feel like an American

When we lived in Belgrade, Montana, Josh used ebay to purchase a truck… in Michigan. He had to fly out to get it, and he drove the thing the whole way back to Montana with no plates. I met up with him in Minneapolis and spent the whole trip worrying about it, but we made it.

The truck was a Ford F-150. It wasn’t huge, but it was a pretty good size. In the summers I used to drive it into Bozeman to get coffee. Just before my exit, there was a hill. Flying down that hill, with the windows open, with the music blaring, in that truck, made me feel American.

Last night we drove up Campbell Avenue around three o’clock in the morning. Campbell is lined with lit-up stores, signs made of light bulbs, and car dealerships. Driving up that street, late at night, that makes me feel American.

Today I watched an ambulance going through an intersection. Everyone was stopped. No one was trying to squeeze through in front of it. That made me feel American, made me appreciate the orderliness of being in America.

Doing doughnuts in the snow, or sliding around icy corners, even going faster than 20 mph on a snowy road, I feel, not only like an American, but like one from the part of the country that knows how to drive.

And, I've just realized I'm going to have to look for American experiences that do not involve vehicles...hmmm.